The "Good Guy" Checklist

I wrote the original article as a Sophomore in college about 2 years ago. I wrote it for a little blogging community called The Odyssey. This post got over 13k shares and was the closest to viral I’ve ever been (it was my exciting 5 minutes of fame). When I first wrote this article, I did it from the heart and with my own experience in mind. Now 2 years a later, I plan on doing the same thing but with a little more insight.

“Hey you look really cute today” “Can’t wait to see you after work” “You seem upset, what’s bothering you?” “Hey babe, do you need any help with that?” When you find a guy who not only says amazing things, but follows through with his words, that’s when you know he’s a keeper. I’ve been with my boyfriend now for 3 years and I do not want to portray our relationship as perfect whatsoever. But I do believe what we have is really special. I can honestly say that he has made me a better person. After a few months of dating, I said bye bye to a lot of bad habits and started to see the limitless potential within myself. I’m not saying that being in a relationship is the answer to everything but mine has helped shaped me into the person that I’ve always wanted to be— thoughtful, compassionate, motivated and empowered.

A healthy relationship gives you stability, encouragement and reassurance. It allows you to be 100% YOU. You are supposed to feel confident, safe, free and absolutely unstoppable. Myles and I had our ups and downs but its in those challenging moments where we grow and learn about each other the most. It’s about arguing, not attacking. It’s about addressing problems, not avoiding it. It’s about having real conversations. It’s about forgiveness. It’s about committing to each other and doing our best to make each other happy. In the end, I would go through all the challenges twice over if it means that I get to continue to wake up with forehead kisses, stay in on Friday nights watching The Office, adventure through foreign lands, cook pancakes on Sunday mornings and receive the best bear hugs. I would face the toughest situations that life has to offer if it means that I get to hold his hand and be by his side.

You deserve to be in a relationship that brings out the best in you, a relationship that allows you to express your authentic and true self. Now, I have created a checklist that you can consider when you’re in the “I-think-he’s- good-boyfriend-material” stage (:

1. He really listens.

This is an obvious but it’s SO SO important. When he asks you questions and genuinely listens, you can really tell. You feel heard and understood and that’s beautiful.

2. He makes sure that you’re taken care of first

You can tell that he genuinely cares about you through his actions. It could be something as simple as bringing you your favorite snack at work, opening the car door for you or maybe just calling you right away in the morning. Whatever it is, he puts in effort.

3. He does his best to make you happy

He listens to you as you ramble on about your big dreams and continues to be your #1 fan with whatever you’re doing (no matter how crazy it might be). That’s the type of man that deserves your love.

4. He is patient with you and respects your choices/decisions

I don’t think you need to have the same hobbies or passions to have a great relationship. But there has to always be respect. If there’s a conflict of interest, mature conversations happen instead angry words.

5. He doesn’t give you the feeling of insecurity

As ambitious and strong ladies, we have a lot of hats to wear. The last thing we want is to feel like we cannot stripe off our polished and poised self and unwind with our raw and acne-blemished selves. So being with a guy who can make you feel comfortable no matter how you look or feel is a must have.

6. He wants to better himself for you and the relationship

“Progress means success” I adore this quote by Tony Robbins. It can translate well into any area of our lives. A successful relationship is one that keeps growing and maturing. It’s never going to be perfect, but it can be fulfilling no doubt. As long as you both continue to listen, nurture and motivate one another, it’s golden baby.

Love is selfless. Love is honest. Love is a compromise. Love is accepting one another but staying true to your own dreams and values. And that leads me to my last point. Be sure to love yourself first and foremost, a relationship can make you see that too, but it’s important to give it a try. Show love and respect for yourself and I guarantee you that you’ll attract it.

Cheers,

Bella